


The Epic of Mishaffe

by MadWithMusic



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Anal, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Humor, Lemon, Other, Rough Sex, Smut, beastiality, blowjob, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1552820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadWithMusic/pseuds/MadWithMusic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only stageit kids remember the mishaffe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Epic of Mishaffe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Misha Collins](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Misha+Collins).



> Not for the weak of heart.

Misha went outside to his backyard and took a scoop of giraffe feed from the container. He went up to his giraffe and held out his hand. The giraffe nibbled up the feed, licking it's lips with it's long tongue. Oh how Misha wished he could feel that tongue inside his mouth, tasting every inch of him. Wait, what? That's wrong! Misha brushed away the erotic thoughts flooding through his mind and reached down to get some more feed. But  _is_  it possible that the giraffe felt the same way about him as he felt about it? Misha sighed as his giraffe ate the feed from the palm of his hand.

Misha pondered about how the giraffe might feel about him. Surely the sexual attraction was not mutual. Surely the giraffe didn't wake from it's sleep from having an incredibly wet dream about Misha or get aroused by thinking of him. Misha sighed once more. He wished he could know these things, but alas, he could not. He found himself leaning against the fence of his giraffe's pen. His giraffe licked his face.

"You want more food?" Misha asked.

"No." The giraffe answered in a deep voice.

"I'm hallucinating!" Misha panicked. "You can't be talking!"

"Well, Misha, I obviously am." The giraffe stated.

"What?" Misha scoffed. "No! That's not possible!"

"But it is, Misha." The giraffe smiled. "You made a wish. Didn't you wish you could know what I think?"

"Well, yes, but..." Misha stammered. "How?"

"God works in mysterious ways, Misha. God must ship us." The giraffe mused. "Even all of your minions ship us? Hashtag Mishaffe has been trending on Twitter for months now."

"So what are you saying?" Misha asked.

"I'm saying I want you." The giraffe growled.

"W-want me?" Misha stuttered. "What do you mean?"

"I want you inside me, Misha. You sexy beast." The giraffe sneered.

"R-r-really?" Misha smiled.

"Would I lie to you?" The giraffe smirked.

"I don't know." Misha shrugged. "I've never exactly talked to a giraffe before."

"Would I lie to the man who's raised me since birth, given me a home, fed me, and loved me?" The giraffe asked.

"I guess not." Misha muttered.

"Then what are you waiting for?" The giraffe wiggled his eyebrows at Misha. "Get that dick inside me."

"Are you, you sure?" Misha responded, smiling softly.

"Of course I am. I've wanted this forever. Ever since I was a baby." The giraffe stated. "Now get in here."

"But Vicki and the kids are home." Misha stated.

"They won't suspect anything." The giraffe smiled. "You trust me, don't you?"

"With my life." Misha said, slowly opening the door to the pen.

"Good...good." The giraffe sighed, bending over to look in between it's legs. "Look at that. I'm getting hard just thinking of you inside me."

"Me too." Misha sighed, stepping behind the giraffe. He pushed down his sweat pants, rubbing his semi-hard dick, drizzling clear fluids.

"Going commando today?" The giraffe panted.

Misha nodded. "It's my day off what do you think? I'm going to spend it jerking to photos of you, baby boy."

"You always do that?" The giraffe asked.

"Often enough." Misha smirked. "Fuck!"

"What?" The giraffe replied.

"I haven't bought condoms or lube in a while." Misha sighed.

"I don't care. I have a high tolerance to pain." The giraffe grinned.

"Then bite the fence, cos I'm going in dry!" Misha exclaimed, thrusting into the giraffe, the giraffe making an extremely loud giraffe noise.

"I hope that didn't hurt too much." Misha said as he began moving inside of the giraffe, groaning with the dry friction.

"My passion and love for you is clouding the pain, my love." The giraffe breathed.

"Are you saying you love me?" Misha asked, a smile gracing his face.

The giraffe turned back to look at him. "Of course. I love you so much, Dmitri Tippens Krushnic."

"I love you, too, giraffe." Misha replied, a tear of joy sliding down his face.

The giraffe stretched his neck toward Misha and stuck his tongue in Misha's mouth, passionately frenching him.

"Mmmm." Misha hummed. "Your tongue tastes so good. Have you been rimming yourself lately?"

"All while thinking of you, honey bunches of oats." The giraffe said.

"That's so sweet, my spotted sex god." Misha smiled.

"I love your pet names. They're so beautiful." The giraffe breathed.

"Just like you." Misha sighed, groaning as he felt a tingling sensation spread throughout his body. "Baby, Imma come!"

"I want to feel your seed in my ass, Mishypoo!" The giraffe cried.

"I want to seed your ass, Jaffypoo!" Misha replied in between moans and groans as he released in the giraffe's tight ass.

"I thought I'd never feel that." The giraffe moaned.

"Me neither." Misha sighed.

"Can I ask you a favor, Misha?" The giraffe asked.

"Anything." Misha smiled.

"I don't exactly have hands, so I can't take care of this raging boner myself. Think you could suck me off?" The giraffe smirked.

"I'd be my pleasure." Misha whispered, climbing off the stool he was standing on and moving to under his giraffe. He took the giraffe's large cock into his mouth as far as he could without gagging. He swung his tongue all around, searching for pleasure spots. As his tongue pushed against a certain spot, his giraffe cried out. Moments later, he felt hot fluid emptying into his mouth. He swallowed it in a large gulp and then went to the giraffe and began frenching him once again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. Also, don't sue me if you need counseling.


End file.
